At 8:18am on Monday November 7th, to the sound of Purple Rain, surrounded by family and friends, Toni Newcomb Moore gained her angel wings and started dancing in Heaven after a long fight with Ovarian Cancer.

Toni was one of the most amazing women that I ever had the pleasure to meet and love. She was my best friend’s sister and I spent many summers visiting her in Wilmington, NC.

Oh Toni Renee, I love you and I’ll miss you.
Your little chef/receptionist will keep an eye on all of your babies for you and your little sister too.

***There are some hospice photos and emotional stuff and such in this post, if those types of photos make you feel uncomfortable you may want to just skip this post***

I’ve mentioned it briefly on the blog before, but my best friend’s sister, Toni, battled Ovarian Cancer for a while and was such an amazing woman.

At one point we thought she had beat it but it came back with a vengeance, moving onto tumors in her brain.

I posted about her on the blog before and when we would have charity events for her or when her health declined, I always got messages and prayers from readers and friends about her to let me know they were praying for her.

Nikki and I would take so many trips to Wilmington in the summer to stay with her that sometimes it was hard to tell if we were at home or in Wilmington during the summer months.

When she got sick, we added on even more trips. Their home became by second home. I even had “my couch” that I slept on every time we went and everyone knew that that was “Angie’s Couch”.

I started making trips to Wilmington with Nikki over 12 years ago to visit Toni (when Toni moved down there) and I’ve loved each and every one.

We shared a love of the beach as well as a strong love of crafts and cooking.  I use to laugh so much when I was cooking in her kitchen because she had the exact exact same kitchen tools that I had, heck she even had the same knife (my favorite) that I used in my kitchen all of the time.

We spent the last week down in Wilmington with her and everyday I took a little time to type out what was going on. Toni was a very real person and she always said that she never ever wanted to hide anything from her friends and family. She loved everyone with a passion but oh her love for GOD was 1000000000 times stronger. She was quite an amazing woman and touched every single soul that she encountered.  If you pray, pray for her family. If you send good vibes, sent those as well.

This was our last week with Toni……………

Friday 10/28/16

We came down early. We weren’t suppose to be coming down for another week but after a visit from the hospice nurse and a call from Melissa, I got a message from  Nikki, that we needed to go. I got off work at lunch, grabbed my bags, packed up those s’more rice krispie treats for the family and we were gone. Into the car and down 40, we spent the next few hours in traffic while singing our traditional Wilmington trip karaoke songs. We’ve made this trip more times that I can count; I could make this drive in my sleep.

We’re going down and staying for a while. We’ve been told that she’s got a week, maybe, we’ll be here until the end.  My heart is broken for Nikki, Sydni and Zach, Tra, Melissa, Sharece, Crystal…..well and everyone else.

We stopped and bought a bunch of flowers for Toni before we got to the apartment.  Goal = make Toni’s room look like a florist shop. haha

 

The evening was quite, we talked, we visited. It’s like being home. I mean this is pretty much my second home. I’m with “family” and I’m so happy to see everyone.  Sydni and I are sleeping in the living room and Nikki is back there with Toni for the night.

Saturday 10/29/16

I had thought about getting up this morning and going to the farmer’s market. I go every Saturday when I’m here. I should have gone. I didn’t want to leave everyone though, I didn’t want to leave Nikki. I didn’t want to go the first morning we were here.

Toni told me I should have gone.

Family and friends stopped by all day to visit with Toni and her daughter Sydni and her son Zach.

I spent a lot of my morning working. I brought my computer because thankfully, I can work and blog from anywhere. As long as there is internet, I’m good. haha.

The afternoon was spent with Melissa and her kiddos at the Halloween store, I took a little break from work and visits to get  out of the apartment for a little bit. Soooo many people we visiting, which was amazing.  Nikki and I joked about how popular Toni is.

Toni is good today, but excited to see everyone but I know she’s tired. We told her to take breaks if she needs it, to just close her eyes if it gets too overwhelmed. Even though I know she’s tired, she greets every single person with a “HEYYYYYYYYYY” and invites them on into her room. She’s in a hospital bed now so there are like three chairs in there for visitors.

Almost every person has brought her flowers! I ran out of vases haha. I filled a huge Tupperware container with water and started to collect the flowers in that until we can find a giant vase! Goal = find a GIANT flower vase.

Toni told us that she wants to have a giant fish bowl full of flowers. Haha then she said that we needed to find a giant punch bowl to fill with flowers. I assured her that we would find a huge vase and make it happen.

Samantha and Baby Tommy came down for a few hours. Baby Tommy is Toni’s 2 year old great nephew.

Samantha also brought Toni and Sydni matching “to the moon and back” Alex and Ani bracelets. That’s Sydni and Toni’s “mother daughter” saying to each other, so that was the most precious gift ever.

The famous PEZ tree went home with Samantha and Tommy Lee. Toni wanted him to have it and he loved it.

For those that don’t know that the PEZ tree is, Toni loves PEZ dispensers. When we was sick a while ago, everyone started sending her PEZ dispensers. Well there got to be so many that she bought a tall Christmas tree, put it in the living room and filled it with tons and tons of PEZ dispensers.

Today I thought that I should probably start typing all of this out. In a few weeks, this week will be a fuzzy memory. I don’t want to forget things. If you know Toni, I know that you don’t want to forget things either.

Plus, Toni has ALWAYS, ALWAYS wanted to be 100% honest and real with everyone. She doesn’t like to hide the good, bad or ugly.

I’m just saving this as a draft and updating at the end of each day.

Sunday 10/30/16

Last night was awful.

None of us slept.

We  didn’t go to bed until almost 230 am and then I was awake again until 3am. I couldn’t sleep. I tossed and turned and starred at the ceiling in the living room.  I kept seeing shadows out of the corner of my eye. I would drift to sleep and then jolted awake by a panic that sent my blood pressure through the roof. It went on and on.

At 4am Nikki came jolting into the living room. Her, Zach and Sydni went back to Toni’s room. I stayed on the couch. I cut the light on and sat there. I worried, I heard them talking, I heard Toni talking. I knew she was still alive and just panicked. Nikki came out, told me what was going on and went back. I gave them their space and let them be with Toni.

Toni has been having a dream off and on of being on the beach with Jesus. She’s had this dream for a while. She said that Jesus is always there but just sitting down the beach from her, just waiting for her and it’s calming.

This morning though, she said that she had the same dream but Jesus was coming towards her. She woke up in a panic and woke Nikki up. Then she told Nikki that she needed Zach  and Sydni too. That’s when she came into the living room to wake everyone up.

I worried. I prayed. I tried to relax…but I couldn’t.

Instead I stayed awake. By 6am the apartment was calm and quite again. I wanted to sleep but after a entire night of failed sleep, I gave up on sleep and drove over to the beach.

Toni loves the beach. I got a lot of the mornings I’m down here. I normally go by myself. Not to lay out or play, just to breath. Just like Toni, it relaxes me. She can’t go with us anymore as she can’t really leave the apartment but I feel like she’s with me every time I go.

I remember the last time we all went. It was January of this year, she has just gotten out of the hospital and the next morning she woke us all up and wanted to go to the beach. We bundled up in hoodies and piled in the car.  Toni, Sydni, Melissa, Crystal, Piper, Tyler, Madison and myself went for Bojangles and then carried our breakfast out to Kure Beach pier. We ate breakfast by Toni’s favorite swing and then we went for a walk.  We walked by the water, we sat and talked and I actually found about 10 shark teeth that day. I remember the shark teeth because I found one by the water and then Toni asked me to find more and I did. haha. The beach and the pier is Toni’s place, I wish she could go with us now.

(this photo is from January, this was the last time we all went to the beach….We think she knew it would be the last time we all went together because she insisted that we go)

She knows that I go to the beach in the mornings and in the afternoons she’ll ask me how it was and what I found that day. I sat by her bed tonight and showed her the sunrise at the beach and the conch shell that I found.

She gets so excited about my photos and seashell finds.

Todd came by tonight and played his guitar for her.

She loved it. IZ (her dog) wasn’t a fan. haha or maybe she was and that was her way of dancing there in the video haha.

Then Nikki and I asked for some alone time with her. It wasn’t long, we didn’t keep her to ourselves but for a minute but it was wonderful.

—————————–

I’ve been around dying people before, it’s not new to me. I watched my grandma “Ma” lay in a vegetable state in the nursing home for years before she passed away, I was in the room with my Nana when she died, I was there as we sat with Thomas’ Grandma Mary before she passed away.

But none of them really knew they were dying.

Ma had dementia, she didn’t know what was happening.

Nana didn’t know until a few days before, but she was in and out and couldn’t talk. I don’t know if she really knew she was dying.

Grandma Mary slipped and hit her head one morning and never woke up. She didn’t know it was coming either.

Toni knows. Toni knows that she’s been dying for a few months now. She knows that she’s going to die, y’all. She knows we’re all down her with her because it’s going to happen soon.

As we talked about Halloween and Christmas, she talked about how she can’t believe that Christmas is almost here. Yet she knows that she won’t be here for it.

I don’t know how she keeps it together. I would be a mess ALL THE TIME.

In some moments she’s scared and cries. It hurts my heart. She called out for her momma earlier. She wanted her sweet mother (who also died of Ovarian cancer years ago) to come comfort her, my heart broke.

She’s not scared all of the time though. She’s positive and upbeat 99% of the time. She’s helped up plan her memorial and insist that we call it a party and a show. She’s even helping us pick out the songs for her service.

I added my favorite “I will rise” by Chris Tomlin to the list and she loved it.

Samantha played “Dancing in the Sky” for us and we all loved it.

Toni said that it must be added to the list, so I added it.

She’s very particular in how she wants her “show” to go. haha 🙂

She wanted everyone to be happy and share memories before her “Louisiana Preacher” preaches his socks off. Then she wants us to have a little ceremony at the beach and play “Drop it like it’s hot”. hahaha

She’s a hoot, I tell ya, a hoot.

She told me that she has a mental picture for everyone. haha She said, “You know, my mind isn’t what it use to be. I have mental pictures of everyone, sometimes they’re the person’s face and then sometimes they’re something else. Well for you Angie, when I think of you, I think of your face and then I think of the receptionist from Ghostbusters. You’re my little Ghostbusters receptionist.”

“You’re my little Ghostbusters receptionist.”

Now every time she needs something written down or needs something like that she says, “It’s all good, I have my Ghostbusters secretary here” haha

I love it.

I brought my laptop so that I could work while I’m down here (perks of an internet job, I can be where I need to be and still get work done when needed) – so I really feel like the Ghostbusters receptionist when people are coming to visit and I’m directing them back to Toni’s room. haha

Monday 10/31/16

Happy Halloween!!!

Nikki’s dad came down today. He said that Nikki gave him bad directions haha so I had to go out into the city and find him. He followed me back to the apartment to visit a while. While I was gone, Toni and Nikki’s other sister, Tra, had gotten there with her family.

I decided to take Sydni with me into town today to give her a little breather. We went downtown and looked through a few shops before going on the hunt for “Charlotte’s Web”.

Sydni has been clipping a flower from each bouquet and is pressing them in a book for later. Charlotte’s Web is Toni’s favorite book, so we found a copy of it so that Sydni can press flowers into the pages and then frame them later. <3

We grabbed smoothies and some fun contacts to finish Sydni’s Halloween costume and then came back to the apartment for a bit.

More people came to visit today; lots brought flowers and food for all of us.

I got some more alone time with her today. She told me that Nikki’s dad (her step dad) told her to find her momma and give her a hug and kiss from him.

She told me that she can’t wait to see Jesus and wrap her arms around his neck after she finds her momma of course.

Then was talked a little bit.

She told me that she’d be sure to talk to Jesus about a baby for Thomas and I. haha <3 She said, “I’m so glad that you and Thomas has time together and I think you’re ready now. I’ll be talking to him about that when I get there.”

I got a little witch hat and took some photos with Toni this afternoon.

I talked about how I had an Ursula costume at home in Virginia but I hadn’t thought to grab it when we were packing to leave.  She told me that she LOVED Ursula, it made me wish that I had remembered it.

Then she decided that she wanted to be “Uncle Fester” for Halloween. Rich painted Toni’s face and Sydni got her a light bulb.

5 minutes later and Toni had been turned into Uncle Fester for Halloween.

Tonight we’re just visiting with her and enjoying everyone’s Halloween costumes.

She’s got a little black pumpkin on her bed with a little bit of candy in it that she’s handing to some people that come to visit her. haha <3

5 minutes later and Toni had been turned into Uncle Fester for Halloween.

Tuesday 11/01/16

I think that at one point today there were more than 50 people crammed into this little apartment and I’m not exaggerating on that at all.

I told Sydni that since Toni calls me her little receptionist that I was going to start putting up a “take a number” station at the door and sit here with my computer, calling out “NUMBER 23, You can go back now” haha.

This afternoon I took some time away to drive over to the beach and just breath. It’s my way to deal.

—————-

I manged to get Nikki out of the apartment. Before today, she hadn’t been away from Toni since we got there. However with so many people coming to the apartment from early morning to super late, she needed to get out. We all needed to get out. I took her out for a while and then made it back in time to see the last bit of visitors leaving for the evening.  A bit of family time came after that, Toni ate her favorite pizza for dinner (no sauce, pineapple and green peppers) and then we looked through more photos for her memorial service before finally getting to bet around 130am. Every night has been super late like this. No doubt that tomorrow morning we’ll be up super early though. We all need sleep.

Remember how the other day I told you that Toni said that she was at peace and it felt like she was ready to go on vacation?

Well today she’s changed it up a bit.

Today she said that it’s like she’s at the fair and she’s like 3rd in line. She said, “You know how you’re at the fair and you’ve been waiting in this line FOREVER and you’re like 3rd in line and you’re so excited because you know your turn is coming up. YEP that’s what it’s like”

Also, we’re at the point where Toni says that she doesn’t care about being polite and such haha. She thinks that talking about pooting is the funnest thing ever.

Toni is literally the most positive person that I’VE EVER MET IN MY LIFE.

Last night, when we were looking through photos Toni fell asleep.  We laughed at something and when shusshed ourselves for being loud. Sydni said, “don’t worry, when she falls asleep, she can’t hear a thing”! Which is when Toni immediately opened her eyes and gave us all a death stare and went right back to sleep. haha

 

Wednesday 11/02/16

The nurses came today.  They’re just here to bathe and check on her.

But her kidneys are shutting down. We know that.

Toni keeps telling them that the poison she has to take is gross.  (the morphine)

She said that she’s Snow White and that we’re the Evil Witches with a poison apple.

But we tell her that she needs it for pain and once again she’s ok with it. She’ll remind us next time it’s time to take it that she hates and and we’ll remind her again that she needs it for the pain.

Crystal is here with her daughter to visit! <3

—————-

Melissa put out a message today that the apartment/Toni is no longer accepting visitors so that the family can be with Toni for now.

Even with everything going on. I can still hear Toni in the back bedroom laughing at a joke.

I hope for everyone that today is a quite calm day.

—————-

Ashley is back in the bedroom reading to Toni this afternoon.  They just came and hooked up Toni’s oxygen so she’s back in her room relaxing a bit.  I’m not sure what book she’s reading to her but there was a dirty part haha and Toni was just laughing up a storm.

Now if you look back there she looks like she’s sleeping. It looks like her energy is going down a bit.

——————————–

A lot of people went back home tonight. The apartment is quite a bit quieter with only a few of us here.

I got about 3 hours of sleep last night so I hope that I’ll hope get some sleep tonight. Ok….actually I hope that I everyone gets some sleep tonight.

I made Dulece De Leche Brownies tonight. I took one back to Toni, I knew she would get my tail if I didn’t.

She loved it.

She told me to cook up a storm and bring her things to taste. haha <3

 

Thursday 11/03/16

Toni actually slept late today.

We woke her up with JoJo got here and she took a while to wake up today.

She was a lot loopier than normal today. She’s like loopy loopy.

She’s had just a few visitors this morning but mainly family.

——————————-

Toni asked me to get a bracelet from her jewelry tree today to send to her friend DeeDee. It was an Alex and Ani tree of life bracelet. Toni said that DeeDee sent it to her when she was first diagnosed and that it was the first present she got after getting the news.

Toni dictated a message to me and I played the role of her little receptionist and wrote her words down into a little card.  Since it was the first present that she got, she asked me to send it back to DeeDee and tell her just how much she meant to her.  I’ll drop it off at the post office tomorrow.

———

Melissa (Toni’s best friend and downstairs neighbor) and her family are leaving tonight.  The oldest of their kiddos is getting married this weekend in Florida so they left last night to go down for the wedding.  They came up before they left to go over a few things with us and to say good-bye.

Piper, the youngest, crawled up into the bed with Toni and her little blanket. Toni broke every one’s heart at she rubbed Piper’s hair and said, “Don’t you worry, Toni won’t ever leave you, I promise you that.”

They didn’t want to go. None of them wanted to leave but after a little while and a few hugs they wiped their eyes and got ready to leave. We gave hugs and told them to be safe before they piled in the car to head to FL.

I know Melissa is worried. I know she’s terrified that Toni will pass away when she’s in FL. I’m worried too.

————-

For what’s going on, it’s been pretty positive down here this week. Of course there have  been moments of heartache and there have been tears and stress, however there have also been smiles.

Toni doesn’t want anyone to be sad. She’s at peace for the most part with what’s happening and she wants everyone else to be the same.

That’s easier said than done.

Dinner around here has been one of the times that we’ve all just relaxed and felt the weight lifted from our shoulders for a little bit.

Sharece (Toni’s friend) handed me a gift card for groceries the other day and I made up some meal plans for the week. <3

Cooking and keeping food in the house is one of the things that I take care of when I’m here haha; I’m going to make sure that everyone here is fed while I’m here.

This week there have been 10 or more people to feed every night. I’m in my element. In the evenings, I stick to the kitchen and work on dinner for everyone. Tonight we had BBQ wings and Buffalo wings at Sydni’s request.

Making food……….this is how I’m contributing. haha 🙂

—————-

A few of us sat in Toni’s room with her tonight. She loves “White Christmas” so that’s what we’re watching tonight.

Izzy is in my lap, snuggled into my Christmas Grinch fleece pj pants while Toni and Sydni are singing every word to every song in this movie.

New Tradition — watch “White Christmas” every year at Christmas for Toni. 

Friday 11/04/16

I got up super early this morning and drove over the beach.

Everyone in this household sleeps super late so instead of waking up early and then staring at the wall for hours I’ve been going to the beach some mornings just to breath.

I don’t stay long but it’s relaxing to just watch the sunrise and look for seashells for a little bit. It’s just “my thing” when I’m down here.

This morning I was driving down to my normal spot by the pier and something told me to stop and pull over.

I stopped at one of the public beach access and got out of the car and walked onto the sand.

As soon as I got out there, the dolphins started jumping and playing right in front of me. It was amazing. Just what I needed this morning!

It was a little cloudy this morning but the sun was peaking through the clouds a little and it was beautiful.

It was so nice and peaceful, y’all.

Something told me that it would be the last peaceful beach morning, I don’t know if that’s true but I wanted to soak up as much time there as I could.

Then it started raining and I got soaked. bahahahaha

I drove over to the post office to drop a package to DeeDee from Toni and then headed back to the apartment.

The cleaning people came by for a bit and now the massage woman is here for Toni. <3

———————-

Toni had a seizure this afternoon. It started with a twitch when JoJo was rubbing her head.

It was a small one but it scared everyone. Oh it really scared Toni. Sweet thing started crying and held onto her children, Zach and Sydni, while the rest of us stood around the room.  The pain on Sydni’s face while she laid with her mother, oh it broke my heart.

After the first seizure, while we stood around her bed waiting on the hospice nurse, Toni knew that was going on. She held her babies and told them that she loved them. She said, “Please don’t forget me. Thank you for understand.”

She looked around the room and said, “I love y’all.”

Then another seizure came.

Saturday 11/05/16

Update. Toni’s seizures didn’t stop last night and went on for a long time.

She had four big ones and then last night, after the hospice nurses came, Sydni had to make the decision to let them take Toni to the hospice center.

I know it broke her heart because Toni wanted to be here at the apartment but she had no choice. There was no way that we could have controlled her seizures and we know that Toni wants to die in her sleep….not from a seizure.

“Toni’s last words to us at the apartment were, “I love y’all.”

So the ambulance came along with the fire trucks and after a little while Toni was on her way to the hospice center.

 

——————

But let me tell you about this crap….

When the hospice nurse came she parked in one of the numbered spot at the apartment….well she didn’t know those were for residents.

Parking spot #70 came home and got PISSED because someone was in their parking spot, like super crazy pissed, like parked in the middle of the parking lot which blocked the ambulance and called a tow truck.

So in the middle of everything going on (thankfully in between seizures) the nurse had to go move her car to save it from being towed…..you know instead of the guy just parking down a few in open spot (like maybe a guest spot beside it).

So then squeezed his car in between the ambulances and fire trucks into his spot and then when he came up the steps he was being an ass.

When Sydni said, “Sorry about your parking spot, but my mom is like on her deathbed right now!” he was like “Well, that’s why the spots are numbered.”

JESUS! Had I not been holding IZ and been in the right mind, ….GOOD LORD.

Sydni wrote them a note, but then she said that her inner Toni came over her and she threw it away.

But from me…Dear people in spot #70, you are a-holes.

———————–

So we headed to the hospice center at like midnight. We were there for about 45 minutes and they managed to calm her down a lot. Nikki, Tra, Samantha and I went back to the apartment to get some sleep but we didn’t get to stay there long.

Nope, we were here for about 20 minutes and we got a scary call from Sydni that we needed to come back. The death rattle was loud and her breathing was awful.

We rushed back. We actually flew like crazy people back but the point is, we got back and ran into the center in our PJs.

We said our goodbyes, we watched as Sydni, with a red face and tears rolling down her little face, told her mother how much she loved her and she could go. She told her momma to just sleep and go see Jesus.  She said, “I bet your momma is so pretty just waiting for you.”

That’s when Toni’s breathing started to calm down a bit.

We waiting until about 430 am and then we all curled up in different spots in the room to sleep.

We tried to get rest until about 830 and then once the doctor came in and told us to go get some rest we decided to drive over to the apartment. At 1030 we drive back to the apartment and tried to get a few hours of sleep.

It’s 3:30pm now and we’re getting ready to head back to the center.

——————

We spent the night around Toni tonight while Sydni read some of Charlotte’s web to her momma.

They say that Toni can hear us but for the most part she’s got her eyes closed and the morphine keeps her resting.

 

Sunday 11/06/16

I’ve been awake since 3am when Nikki and I jumped into the car and drove back up to the hospice center from the apartment where we had tried to grap a nap.

Poor Sydni hadn’t been to sleep but once we got there she managed to close her eyes and rest on a little pallet in the floor at the foot of her momma’s bed.

I sat on one side of Toni while Nikki sat on the other.

I stepped out of the room for a bit to get some air and turned the corner at the center to see the quilt.

Out by a window that overlooks a little courtyard at the hospice center there is a quilt along with needle and thread. You can sit there and sew on a patch or sew in a name or whatever you like.

This morning, in the quite hallway, as the sun was coming up I stitched Toni’s name into it in her favorite color along side a ribbon. I picked the patch with the dragonfly, I think she would approve….even if my sewing handwriting needs work. Haha

She loves dragonflies…. I mean skeeterhawks… haha

Back in the room, I sat beside Toni and did some word search puzzles to keep myself awake while the girls slept.

The late morning was rough. Toni yelled out so loud one time that it sent Nikki and I shooting out of our chairs.

They brought a morphine pump today.

She’s better now.

As the morning turned to afternoon a few visitors stopped by, mainly just super close friends and family.

Shelia came and played the piano and sang for everyone. Her voice is beautiful and it was like we were having our own little musical church service.

We also spent the day trying to figure out what Toni was holding on too. We knew her body and spirit was ready but we thought she was waiting for something.

So Sydni called her ex-step dad, Derick.

We thought, “she’s got to be waiting on Derick.”

So he drove to Wilmington. He talked to Toni bit and then talked with Nikki and Sydni for a while.

Toni’s breathing calmed down.

Then we thought, “Maybe she wants to be alone without so many people around her.”

So we one by one had a few moments with her and let her rest.

Her breathing calmed down more.

Maybe she’s waiting on us to finish Charlotte’s web.

We read to her. It’s her favorite. We all sat around the bed as Crystal finished reading to her.

At this point, Sydni turns around and looks at me and says, “What do we do?”

“We just wait and try to rest”

——–

At this point we’re all delirious and tired. Then in the midst of everything going on, we close the door and for a brief evening we let our stress and sadness melt away and we giggle and laugh and joke with each other.

It just came over us in a wave. I assume it was because we were sleep deprived. Our heart had been ripped into pieces over and over this week. We didn’t know which way was up or down.

And just like that, crammed into hospice center room with blanket pallets on the floor, pillows and blankets in chairs, a few random dancing moments and smiles, we had our very last sleepover with Toni Renee.

I’m sure Toni was blessing our hearts the entire time in her mind, if she could hear us, but we needed it.

 

Monday 11/07/16

The room was quite except for the occasional snore from Toni.

Nikki slept in the chair to Toni’s right and Crystal was on the left.

Madison and Sydni were in the floor on a make shift bed.

Tra has made a bed out of the desk/table and I was sleeping in a couchish window seal.

We all woke up about 7 or so, although most of us had been waking up all night to check on Toni. None of us wanted to be the one to wake everyone else up if she wasn’t breathing but we still listened.

After everyone woke up, one of Sydni’s friend’s moms brought us doughnuts. She visited for a few minutes and then went home.

Sydni crawled into the bed with her momma and the rest of us sat around the bed and talked.

Sydni told her momma how cute she was and how good she smelled. (something Sydni did a lot haha)

Toni’s dad called (or maybe it was Tra that called him)

He didn’t want to tell her to let go. He said it just couldn’t tell her that. Tra told him that he must.

So he did. He told her it was ok and that he loved her.

Sydni told her momma to go see Michael Jackson and Prince with a little laugh. She smiled and pushed play on her phone and Purple Rain started to play.

We laughed and smiled at her.

Toni took a breath and paused.

A long pause.

My eyes shot to Nikki and I jumped out of my seat beside Toni.

Nikki ran to my spot. I sat beside her.

Toni took a breath and paused.

Everyone went silent.

One more deep breath. We watched her, waiting for the next. We waited for seconds that felt like years.

I glanced down at the time.

8:18am

Another breath didn’t come.

She put on her pair of angel wings and left us.

At 8:18 am on Monday November 7th, to the sound of Purple Rain, surrounded by family and friends, Toni Newcomb Moore gained her angel wings and started dancing in Heaven.

Although if you’re looking for her, I bet you can find her down by the Kure Beach Pier when she decides to catch the sunset or the sunrise <3

Our Last week with Toni

MEMORIAL SERVICE INFORMATION

The Memorial service in Wilmington will be on Saturday at 12:00pm at Wilmington Crematory. The memorial service at home will be Monday at 2:00pm at Riverview Church on Park Ave. Anyone who wishes to visit the family may do so at Toni’s Apartment starting today. 

❤❤❤❤
Tell me, what does it look like in heaven?
Is it peaceful? Is it free like they say?
Does the sun shine bright forever?
Have your fears and your pain gone
❤❤❤❤
‘Cause here on earth it feels like everything good is missing since you left
And here on earth everything’s different, there’s an emptiness
❤❤❤❤
Oh-oh, I,
I hope you’re dancing in the sky
I hope you’re singing in the angel’s choir
I hope the angels know what they have
I’ll bet it’s so nice up in heaven since you arrived